If it smelt like ramen and jellybeans, you know exactly who dealt it.
Stolen jet skis, Mexico, and new identities for the both of you would have to be involved.
Like how you achieved touchless orgasm by imagining yourself famous.
She already knows you’re a batshit crazy narcissist. That’s why she loves u.
Cuz best friends who ovulate together, stay together. It’s science.
I mean…if you’re not already making arrangements for your future kids’ best friendship, WTF r u doing…?
Who needs a doctor when you have her to remind you that you just don’t eat enough leafy greens?
…Like that one time you hung up on her for not being happy enough for u when you got “Beyoncé” on that one Buzzfeed quiz.
If a genie granted you a single wish, it’d def be that you and your BFF get to hang out in ur baby bodies with ur adult minds. Would be fucking UNREAL.
…Because she’s ur significant other.
He has just reason to be intimidated/concerned.
It’d be equal parts heartbreaking and hysterical, cuz she wouldn’t have it any other way.
(And call her immediately to make sure she’s alive.)
You know they’re just TOTALLY FUCKING DELUSIONAL, but that doesn’t stop both your eyes from violently twitching.
Your other friends don’t believe you when you swear you don’t do it on purpose, and that’s probably cuz you do do it on purpose…when you meet up to discuss outfits in ur dreams.
Cuz would she really be your best friend if she didn’t?
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