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18 Bullshit Things You Say To Other People Versus What You’d Say To Yo

18 Bullshit Things You Say To Other People Versus What You’d Say To Your Best Friend

August 18, 2015

rodicioc
rodicioc

1. 

To other people:We should totally grab dinner sometime!

To your best friend:Let’s get Chipotle and eat it on your couch and watch a movie and unbutton our jeans after we eat too much.

2. 

To other people:I seriously need to go to the gym.

To your best friend:I have no intention of going to the gym today, but I need you to give me some reassurance right now because I’m having a fat day.

3. 

To other people:The job is great. It’s kind of stressful, but definitely a great learning experience.

To your best friend:I absolutely hate my job and it makes me feel dead inside.

4. 

To other people:*text* Hey! Can we reschedule brunch? I’m so busy today eek sorry!

To your best friend:*text* I’m laying hungover in my bed like a fat sultan and I think I’m gonna throw up so I can’t leave the house and I NEED you.

5. 

To other people:I want to be with someone who I feel a genuine connection with.

To your best friend:Basically I’m just tired of dating awful, horrible people.

6. 

To other people:I think art is a really important part of our world.

To your best friend:I spend most of my relaxation time watching reruns on HGTV.

7. 

To other people:Being single has been great actually. It’s nice having some ‘me’ time.

To your best friend:I’m going to die alone and I HATE IT.

8. 

To other people:Oh you’ve been doing CrossFit? Good for you.

To your best friend:You need to stop talking about this now.

9. 

To other people:I really make an effort to eat healthy.

To your best friend:Kale is the worst and I want a cheeseburger right now.

10. 

To other people:*text* How are you?! We haven’t talked in forever!

To your best friend:*text* Let me cut the crap and just straight up tell you I need something from you.

11. 

To other people: My favorite books? Mostly the classics. Hemingway, Fitzgerald, etc.

To your best friend: Whenever I get a book out to read, it usually just sits on my lap while I look through funny Instagram accounts.

12. 

To other people: I’m just having a long day.

To your best friend: I’m actually severely HANGRY and I’m about to lose it. 

13. 

To other people:I’m doing well, thanks.

To your best friend:I’m a big ball of anxiety let me tell you all about it because you’re the only one who makes me feel better.

14.

To other people: Her life is going well? I’m happy for her.

To your best friend: I’m a bad person, but drama is more interesting to talk about.

15.

To other people:I think I’m just gonna stay in tonight and get a bunch of stuff done.

To your best friend:Wine. Netflix. Fat pants.

16.

To other people:The Bacheloris such an awful show for humanity.

To your best friend:I can’t stop watching it tho.

17. 

To other people: [Insert Name] is really nice. We just don’t see eye to eye on some things.

To your best friend: I hate that person and I’m gonna bitch about them to you because you won’t judge me or tell anyone that I’m shady.

18. 

To other people:I’m a really chill person.

To your best friend:I like the idea of being chill but I have no chill and sometimes I’m a nutcase. TC mark


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