What they do: Holds their anger in, convincing themselves that they can just get over it, but then lets it out subtly, in passive-aggressive bouts.
What they ought to do instead: Communicate their hurt to the opposite party and brainstorm ways to avoid repeating it in the future.
What they do: Attempts to look at things from the other person’s point of view and if it’s not what the ENFP would do, shames the other person for their way of handling the situation.
What they ought to do instead: Ask the other person to explain their side of the situation and try to understand the intent behind their actions.
What they do: Holds in their anger and avoids the person they’re mad at, possibly for the rest of their lives.
What they ought to do instead: Explain to the opposing party why their feelings were hurt and then ask to hear their side of the situation.
What they do: Decides the person they’re mad at is incompetent and ices them out.
What they ought to do instead: Let the other person know that they’ve upset them but that they’d like to hear their side of the situation and to determine a solution to the conflict.
What they do: Retreats to analyze the situation and determine whether or not they are overreacting. May give the silent treatment to the person they are upset with in the meantime.
What they ought to do instead: Before retreating, tell the person they are upset with that their feelings have been hurt and that they require some alone time to process the situation.
What they do: Attacks the other person’s deepest weaknesses and insecurities, either through a series of subtle insults or all at once in a fit of blind rage.
What they ought to do instead: Consider what role they played in the situation and then explain their point of view to the opposing party and ask for theirs.
What they do: If slightly angered, retreats and ices out the opposing party. If deeply angered (this is rare), will use every one of the other person’s weaknesses against them until they have completely psychologically undermined them.
What they ought to do instead: Communicate openly with the person they are angry with in order to find a solution, rather than letting it reach a breaking point.
What they do: If slightly angered, retreats to analyze the situation. If greatly angered, attacks the opposing party with cruel personal truths about him or her.
What they ought to do instead: Recognize the subjective nature of their anger and keep an open mind to the opposite party’s point of view while discussing the issue.
What they do: Oscillates between ignoring the person they’re angry with and directing subtle yet cruel/belittling comments their way.
What they ought to do instead: Ask the person they’re upset with to explain their point of view – and then share their own in a non-confrontational manner.
What they do: Ignores the actual person they’re mad at and engages in a sensory experience that takes their mind off the issue (I.e. Drinking, fighting, exercising).
What they ought to do instead: Find a healthy physical outlet for their anger (I.e. exercise) and then find a solution to the problem that initially angered them.
What they do: Ignores their anger for years at a time until they eventually snap unexpectedly and spew snarky insults about the opposing party’s intelligence.
What they ought to do instead: Take note of when and why they’re feeling angry, rather than pushing it down, in order to avoid outbursts.
What they do: Yells, cries and makes a scene – and then de-escalates quickly and apologizes.
What they ought to do instead: Take a moment to consider how they ought to best communicate their point of view – and then calmly let the opposing party know that their feelings have been hurt.
What they do: Impatiently barks orders at others and shames them for their way of doing things.
What they ought to do: Consider how their reaction to a stressful situation may impact their relationship with those around them and come up with a more effective measure of communicating when under stress.
What they do: Forgives the indiscretion in the moment but then never, ever forgets about it.
What they ought to do: Learn to process feelings of hurt and betrayal as they occur, in order to let them go and move on from past hurts.
What they do: Feels an intense physical reaction and lets it out by confronting others and/or punching/smashing an inanimate object.
What they ought to do: Find a constructive release for their physical energy (I.e. exercising or meditating) so that they can take a step back from their anger and focus on the problem itself.
What they do: Turns cold and calculating, then takes down the opposing party’s argument with a single well-timed phrase or action that gets the ENTJ their way.
What they ought to do: Withdraw to process their feelings on the conflict rather than immediately strategizing a way to ‘win’ it.
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